Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize