Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize