Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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