my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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