i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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