Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize