just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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