that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize