Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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