I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize