This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize