I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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