Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize