I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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