coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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