i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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