I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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