On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize