PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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