Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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