Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize