Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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