he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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