you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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