Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize