i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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