Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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