That's when you crack a 10am beer
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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