I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize