You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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