Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
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A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize