I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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