i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need to wash the frat house off of me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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