was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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