My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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