tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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