your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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