It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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