I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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