I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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