Just cropdusted the office
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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