There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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