They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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