Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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