Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was born a porn star she said
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize