ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize