that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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