This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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