I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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