It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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